Hey! Where's your Episode Guide?

It's certainly not on this page. Everything you see here is a figment of your computer's imagination.

Season 1

Ep.1 – Gammera The Invincible

A nuclear explosion awakens a fire-breathing monster from hibernation. No, not Godzilla. We're talking about Gammera (with 2 M's - that's how you know he means business)!

Gammera, who's clearly not a morning person, opens a can of whoop-booty on Tokyo. Meanwhile, teenyboppers dance to the Gammera theme song... at least until Big G crashes the party.

Ep.2 – King Kong Escapes

When a giant robot Kong can't dig up enough radioactive Element X, the evil Dr. Who (No relation to the famous Timelord) decides to kidnap the real thing! However King Kong's current gal pal and her commanding officers have something to say about that.

Ep.3 – Wasp Woman

Produced and directed by Roger Corman, and starring the late Susan Cabot in her final role before retiring from B-Movies. She probably thought that she didn’t need to work in Corman movies when her personal life was crazier than anything he could come up with on screen.

Ep.4 – The Bat

A mysterious murderer known only as The Bat terrorizes a couple of old ladies, meanwhile $1 million goes missing from the local bank. You'll be beating your head against the wall as you try to figure out which of the 2-dimensional characters is The Bat.

Ep.5 – I Bury The Living

The newly appointed chairman of a cemetery can cause deaths by simply placing black pins in the unoccupied-but-sold graves indicated by a map on the wall.

Ep.6 – Evil Brain From Outer Space

Boney Bob’s favorite superhero Starman kicks alien booty in this superhero sci-fi disaster-piece! It’s got battle scenes choreographed by ballet instructors and costumes that leave nothing to the imagination! But if that’s not enough, tune in to see StarBob and his battle with the Milkman!

Ep.7 – Horrors of Spider Island

The only real horror about this film is that fact that it got made in the first place. It stars a bevy of babes that get stranded on a deserted island with their manager. The manager gets bitten by a huge spider and turns into a fuzzy spider monster. But don’t worry about that. Most of this film is spent on the girls and their fights, snarky comments and skimpy outfits. It's a terrible movie that's easy on the eye.

Ep.8 – Werewolf in a Girl’s Dormitory

Yeah, it’s got some bad dubbing, and the dialog is awful, and the werewolf is pretty lame, but it does star drop-dead-gorgeous Barbara Lass. And plenty of folks get mauled by werewolves. So it’s not all bad.

Ep.9 – She Beast

Even though Barbara Steele is barely in this film, she managed to get top billing. It’s really the screwball antics of the Romanian Police that steal the show. This film combines horror and Keystone Cops capers in a complete mess that only Chiller Drive-In would dare show.

Ep.10 – Phantom Planet

This sci-fi stinker is your typical man-meets-aliens fare, with desperate attempts at realism, cheeseball special effects (come to think of it, the asteroids kinda look like cheeseballs) and sub plots galore.

It stars Dean Fredericks, who appeared in dozens of films and TV shows in the 50s and 60s. But stealing the show with her raven hair and scorching hot bod is Dolores Faith as Zetha. There's also the added bonus that she’s mute through most of the film. You'll also see Richard Kiel (best known as Jaws in several Bond films) paying his dues as the Solarite alien.

Ep.11 – Horrors of Party Beach

A beach full of dancing teenyboppers, greasers and old-farts-pretending-to-be-teenagers is terrorized by a radioactive monster that looks like it’s eaten too many hot dogs at once and gagged. This film has it all! Monsters, music, bikini babes, summer fun, mayhem, drunks and explosions!

Season 2

Ep.1 – The Ghost

When a woman and her lover murder her invalid husband, they dream of taking his fortune and living happily ever after. But when strange things begin to happen, they suspect that the dead man's ghost has returned to take revenge on them! Starring Barbara Steele in all her Scream Queen glory.

Ep.2 – Zontar, The Thing From Venus

A crazy scientist makes contact with the planet Venus using his killer quadraphonic stereo system. He chats with a creature named Zontar, who claims that he’s going to come to Earth and solve all our problems.

Well, it turns out that Zontar has other plans and instead causes mass power outages, car breakdowns and controls the minds of Earthlings!

This movie is so bad, it’ll actually make your TV smell like wet garbage.

Ep.3 – The Devil's Hand

A man is haunted by visions of a hot blond, so he dumps his frumpy brunette girlfriend and joins a Satanic cult... Yeah, who hasn’t had this happen to them? It stars Neil Hamilton who is probably best remembered for playing Commissioner Gordon on the 1960’s Batman TV show.

Ep.4 – Attack of The Giant Leeches

Radiation once again plays the role of monster maker and turns some happy little swamp leeches into monstrous beasts that feed on humans - and make basketball sized hickeys on their victims.

It stars Yvette Vickers, who was probably best known as Playboy's Miss July 1959 - Because this film sure wasn't going to make her a household name.

Ep.5 – Tormented

This week we have a touching love story about a man who “accidentally” kills his ex girlfriend by throwing her off a lighthouse (points for originality), and is then haunted by her ghost. Richard Carlson plays a Jazz pianist that can’t seem to stop killing people to keep his crimes quiet. The scorching hot Juli Reding stars as Vi, the ghost with the 40-23-35 curves.

Dig up a date, light a few candles and get a bottle of your favorite bubbly. It’s about the closest we’re ever going to get to showing a chick-flick.

Ep.6 – Nosferatu

It's the 1922 silent classic that needs no introduction, Nosferatu! And because this is a 4-star film, you’ll get points with all your snooty, arts-fartsy friends, and get some "culture" while being entertained by fart jokes! Win-win, baby!

Ep.7 – Night of The Living Dead

Arguably, the greatest horror film ever made, Night of The Living Dead is the iconic, all-you-can-eat zombie munch-fest that all that followed wish they could measure up to.

Just remember, the cellar is not always the safest place.

Ep.8 – Dementia 13

This 1963 Psycho-wanna-be is loaded with senseless killing and a plot that makes even less sense. It's hard to believe that Francis Ford Coppola directed this movie, but easy to believe Roger Corman produced it.

Ep.9 – Monster From a Prehistoric Planet

Also known as "Giant Beast Gappa" and "Gappa the Triphibian Monsters" and "The Monster Movie What Bankrupted The Movie Studio."

The monster beat down begins when some nosy humans decide to take a giant baby bird-reptile away from it’s home. The very large and dangerous mommy and daddy go looking for their missing offspring and decide to start the search by destroying one Japanese city after another. Will they get their little twerp back or will they destroy the planet?

Ep.10 – The Monster Maker

Nutty Dr. Markoff has developed a formula that spreads a hideous disease called acromegaly (go ahead look it up – it’s a thing) and uses it on a concert pianist. To get the antidote the pianist must give Dr. Markoff the hand of his daughter in marriage.

Directed by Sam Newfield, who churned out over 250 B-movies during the course of his career!

Ep.11 – Attack of The The Eye Creatures

Avert your eyes, but don't lose focus! Necking teenagers, perverted military voyeurs, incompetent cops, bizarre pajamas and light-sensitive monsters with big zippers make this film a spectacle to behold.

Ep.12 – The Giant Gila Monster

This is one those films where the title pretty much tells you all you need to know. An oversized reptile develops a taste for human flesh and attacks a barn dance full of teenagers. Can a teenage musician/hot rod mechanic stop the monster from eating everyone in town? Can he put down that stupid ukulele first?

Ep.13 – Screaming Skull

Happy newlyweds Eric and Jenni Whitlock retire to his desolate mansion, where Eric's first wife Marianne died in a "mysterious accident" (yeah, right). Jenni, who has a history of mental illness, begins to see strange things. Is she going bonkers again, or is there something more sinister going on?

This film could possibly scare you to death! If it does, the filmmakers will pay for your funeral. And Boney Bob schemes to cash in on this promise!

Ep.14 – Legend of Bigfoot

Having trouble sleeping? Well, there’s no need to go to the medicine cabinet looking for sleeping pills. Just turn on 1976’s "The Legend of Bigfoot" and you’ll be sawing logs in no time!

Will you be a believer in the Bigfoot myth by the end of the film? This film answers that question with a resounding "Maybe".

Ep.15 – Teenage Zombies

A group of nosy teens discover the laboratory of a sexy mad scientist who plans to turn everyone into a dopey "zombie". If that sounds insane, wait until the fight scene with the gorilla.

It's No wonder why this film makes it to so many Worst-Films-Ever-Made lists.